Single Lady In Nairobi: A Different Kind Of Sponsor

I have always been that girl who enjoys listening to other women talk about their dating lives. Sometimes I just scroll down Kilimani mums, ghetto edition just for comic relief. Either the ladies who post their experiences are stand-up comedians or the things they go through in their relationships are just hilarious to a point that you feel sorry for them.

I have not been keen on dating because the last few guys I went out with are still stuck on adolescence fantasies of video games and hangover talks. However, there comes a time when I just need a man to talk to, grab lunch with and have some good passionate sex with. Unfortunately, I want this arrangement just once a month. So what do I do with the guy for the rest of the month? Entertain him as he complains about life? Not cut for that.

I was advised that I need a sponsor.

I have always rolled my eyes whenever I hear the word ‘sponsor’. I am not about to be owned by a man just for drinks and airtime.  I can do basically everything else by myself. Unless he is buying me a house or upgrading my car to the latest German technology.

So last weekend I got into a conversation with my friends and some of them date older people. I call them sponsors. For me, if someone is financing your life, he is a sponsor. However, I got to understand a different kind of sponsor that some of my friends have.

These sponsors are older. 15 years and above. They are not bad looking. Not the ‘steal yo grandma’ kind of face and body but they have taken care of themselves. They are married and live comfortable lives. They are good in bed but don’t make it the main focus of their arrangement. They rarely give money and they will make it clear that money is not the focus either.

Dating an older Man. Image from http://www.singleblackmale.org/2013/01/07/war-on-men-should-women-avoid-older-men/

More confused, right?

These sponsors do not want to be with young, blond chics taking selfies all day long. They want a classy and a mature woman. They want a woman who can hold a conversation be it business, economics or politics. They do not want to be embarrassed when they introduce you to their friends.

Being older, they are better placed to teach you one or two things about life. Their networks are amazing. You will sit at a restaurant enjoying a drink, and that CEO you have been trying to get in touch with joins him for a drink.

They do not like drama. They have a routine, one that you should stick with. They are however aware that you are a single woman and you can have another man out there. All they ask is ‘do not let us cross paths’

They enjoy a weekend out of town, sometimes out of the country and will most likely take you with them. They do not play mind games, as their lives are too busy for that. You are either in or out.

I still could not get it.

When you get such a sponsor, you have no relationship drama till you catch feelings. It’s a mature relationship with a grown ass man. Conversations will not revolve around hangovers and boys in the hood. He will actually add value to your life if you know how to use him and his connections to grow your career or business. You will actually be getting phone calls to ask you out on dates. Not the folks who will use whatsapp emoji’s to suggest that you are beautiful.

If you are someone who gets pissed off by men who are all over your phone to chat every night, you will love this. Conversations on phone are once in a while to confirm a date and more conversation will be face to face. Nice, huh?

In short, these men want good company, peace of mind, intelligent conversation, some great sex once in a while. Don’t we all? Honestly, we need to get a new name for these kind of men. Sponsor does not seem to do them justice.

***Single lady in Nairobi is a collection of real life stories and opinions from different women. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that ladies have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Potentash.com.

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