Diary of a mad hurter.


Today am feeling it, emotions burnt raw. I feel like being a gal and crying, huge pools of tears that bleach out the pain. Unfortunately am not that gal, and my twin painkillers of food and writing just serve to depress. I gained about 10kgs did you know? Weighed myself yesterday just to confirm what I already knew. That chocolate biscuits and crisps just serve to make my fat cells and taste buds happy.

The writing, well it’s a painting of just how tortured a soul could get from love, broken love. Sometimes I look at my words and marvel, because am like did you have that much power over me, power to make me want to cry, to be bitter and tormented?

You are clearly my muse, because whether in love or hurt you inspire me to write. Actually many of my best pieces are based on you. I will not subscribe to the words “I hate you”. Those words have power over a soul, as much or more then the words “I love you.” One day I will look at these words, a journal of a heart in hurt rehabilitation. I will marvel at how foolish I was to let you break my heart, actually wonder what I ever saw in you. But not today. My emotions are scorched, bleeding raw, sensitive. For today I allow myself to bleed, to feel, to think. For today my emotions are raw and exposed.

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