Dear first year campus girl.
It’s an exciting day the first time you go to campus. You’re done with the strictness of high school. There is no one to monitor you, to tell you what to do. You are looking forward to freedom especially if you will be a boarder and you will be able to get away from your parents and you can go for all those happening parties you have heard about. Let me give you a few words of advice as a big sister would do.
• You think your mum is very old fashioned and she is. She is always asking you where you’re going when you leave the house, who your friends are and five other million questions. Sometimes it feels like she is the CID and you are a suspect in a case where you have no idea what your being charged with. You are thinking I am going to campus and I will be done with the questions. Yes, she is old fashioned. But she has two things that are an advantage for her. They say there is nothing new under the sun. She was young once. All the stuff you’re going through she went through. So she has experience of the world and a love for you that’s so amazing she doesn’t want you to end up bitter about your life choices. You will hate her, argue that she is very old fashioned, but believe me when your older you will realize that your mum is always right. So listen to her.
• Choose your friends wisely. Not every person who says they are your friend is genuine, male, or female. There are women who will lead you astray because they are getting something from a guy who wants you or just for the sake of it. So don’t think its only guys you have to watch out for. Some friendships have ended up with girls ending up dead so don’t take this advice lightly.
• Many girls are going out with rich men on and off campus in order to live the good life. You want pocket money, great clothes and everything a girl would want. Don’t sell yourself short. You are better than that. Work hard and get your own stuff. Is it really worth it to sell your soul for a few thousand shillings? No its not.
• Do not be tempted to sleep with your lecturer for a good grade. It is wrong, end of story. Even if you don’t care others do and they will lose respect for you because believe me they will know.
• Then there are those rich and married men again who want a girl for a mistress. They want sex and fun. And you get money and stuff in the bargain. Ask yourself this question. Do I want to get married one day? This man is married to a woman like me. Do I want to be played the way this guy wants to play his wife? If you do decide to do it, remember Karma is a Bitch and she has teeth. When someone later on does that to you, you have no right to complain. What goes around comes around.
• In first year you will have many campus guys approaching you wanting to take you out. That is called gold rush. Do not be confused by these guys’ sweet words. Their purpose is to sleep with you and notch another chick to their tally.
• Know your values. Do you have any in the first place? What are you willing to do or not do? Do you have boundaries? What are these boundaries? Let those guide you when you’re in campus.
• It’s good to have fun. Campus is a time to try new things. But be careful not everything you do is beneficial. Some things like drugs and sex can get you into trouble.
• Your body is the temple of God. If you can abstain, please do but if you cant please use condoms. By the way morning after pills are not piriton. You don’t just take them everyday. They will mess up your body.
• There are more serious things then pregnancy. STD’s, HIV, and AIDS are real. So don’t think if you take morning after or contraceptives you will be ok. Take care of your body.
• You went to campus to read not to become a wife. Don’t decide to cohabit with a guy and become his “wife” so you stay in your room to clean, wash etc for him instead of going to class. Focus on your studies. You will mess up your life for a guy; he will finish school and leave you behind.
• If you mess up and get pregnant, don’t give up on school. Have your baby and get back to school. University degree will open up doors for you to feed that child in future. Get up and keep moving. It’s not the end of the world.
• Read. That’s what you went to university to do. Make sure you learn. University is a place where you learn many things that will help you in future life. It may not look like it but the general stuff you learn there will be applicable in later life.
• Network. Join Rotaract, AIESEC, and clubs in university you went to university to be a well rounded person. It’s important to develop your professional, social, and personal interests as well. These networks will help you grow through exposure, seminars etc. it also helps you meet professionals outside campus. These networks are important in and out of campus.
• Don’t follow the crowd. It’s tempting to be in something bigger then yourself. You want to fit in, don’t want to be odd. That’s natural. But if the crowd is doing something that’s against your values don’t compromise them. You will regret it later. Some decisions you make have life long consequences.
• Whatever you do, don’t ever forget that God loves you. Even when you mess up. If you ever need somebody to talk to reach out to him, he listens. Cultivate your relationship with God, it will help you through some crazy times in life.
There are so many things I can tell you campus girl. I could write a sermon on it, maybe I have. Enjoy your time in campus but remember as you have fun, everything has consequences.
Love and hugs,
A big sister who cares about you.