Dating: does it matter who asks who out?


should i

Good news finally I can say that I am over heartbreak. Writing poetry and stories on heartbreak has really helped. Plus all the other love stories that I write. I tell you I am now having the affair of my lifetime, I am dating my writing, and I am so so in love. Speaking of dating we were having this conversation with a friend of mine about my story love techie.  You can download a copy  Techie Love By Rayhab Gachango. Here is a snippet of love techie.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: who’s this guy?

Hey babes.

I just got this email from a dude called Munene who says he is Jack’s cousin. Who the heck is he?

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]


Hey. Got your contacts from Jack Mureithi (his my cousin). I was at the wedding and I kinda noticed you but I didn’t manage to get your contacts. If you’re ever on chat please give me a hola. You were looking so beautiful in your bridesmaid’s dress I thought I had seen an angel. Is it ok if I send you a facebook friend request?

I hope you’re not trying to set me up on a blind date. Recovering from a broken heart remember. I don’t need another dude sumbuaring me. And what kind of guy sends an email to introduce himself in this day and age?

Later. Salami Jack.

My friend  was saying that the girl Charity was playing too hard to get. In fact he was saying that he is of the opinion that women should also make the first move not only waiting for guys to do it. I was of the opinion that many women don’t make the first move because traditions or even many relationship books tell them that they should let the guy pursue them.

love pic

If I can remember from one of the books on relationships that I used to read (ha wont find me reading those now) a man is a hunter. A man likes to chase his catch. The thrill is in the hunt. So if a woman pursues the man she is taking up his role so he may go out with her but there is no thrill of the chase so he’s unlikely to stay.

let the man make the first move

Having done both the conservative  and liberal thing on the same (heartbreak) guy I can’t say I am the best judge. I do feel though that he did start taking me for granted which was part of the reason the relationship broke apart. Because I was putting in the 80% and he was putting in the 20%. So in the end I think that if I ever went out with somebody else I would let him put in the work. He would have to do the pursuing.

I googled and came across this article why don’t women make the first move by It’s worth a read.

This is only a test

A lot can be said about a man by the way he approaches a woman. Is he insecure or confident? Maybe he’s a little bit too confident. There are many pickup methods employed by men (I’ve seen them all, nothing surprises me anymore), and some work while others fail miserably. Whether the picker-upper succeeds or not is beside the point, what is important is what his pickup method says about his personality.

Women like to put men up to the challenge of how they’ll go about approaching them, by not making the first move and allowing the man to step up to the plate. If he approaches her in the bar and bores her to tears with his personal sales pitch, convincing her of the 101 reasons why she should be dating him, this shows two key attributes (both extremely unattractive): insecurity or abundance in confidence.”

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What’s your take?


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Managing editor and blogger at Potentash. Passionate about telling African stories. Find me at [email protected]