The kind of man to marry – @Mwendesusu



What do people look for in a marriage partner? Most will cite religious agreement, financial stability and looks in their list. I am not an expert as I still tick single in the marital status box. However, I have listened to a lot of advice over the years and I have put together a list of things a woman should consider when picking a marriage partner.

Marry a man you can follow. By follow, I’m not talking about twitter. A wife follows her husband’s lead. So why saddle a horse you are not prepared to ride? You have the power of choice. If you don’t believe in his dreams, you’ll find it difficult to follow him. It will be an endless tug of war. One that sadly, no one will be winning.

Marry a man who supports your dreams. You can’t be trying to be the next Marissa Mayer and the man wants a housewife. It’s sad but the truth is that a lot of ambitious women must look a little harder for a partner. I t really does require a certain kind of man to be married to an ambitious woman. If you know you are that woman, look for someone who is comfortable with that. No need spending most of your energy fighting the one person who should be your support system.

Marry a man who treats you as a priority and not a by the way. If he’s that guy who has plenty of time to hang out with his boys but you have to beg for time, he’s just not that into you. A woman should be pursued. It should be quite obvious that the man is crazy about you.

Marry a man who respects you. The Supremes said it or rather sang it right. He should respect your opinion, your time and your value. He’s serious about you. No silly games.

Marry a man who enjoys your company. If he’s on his phone while you’re talking and is constantly looking at his DMs when you’re together, he is bored. If he’s like this now, just imagine what being married to him will be like? A man in love shows interest in the woman he’s with.

Marry a man who introduces you to his friends and family. If he’s hiding you, he may be hiding something or someone…


Marry a man who considers you his best friend. If you’re not his female best friend, there’s a problem. There’s no way a man can be sharing his inner most secrets with one woman and then marry another. Best friends of the opposite sex have broken up so many relationships. If he’s serious about you, he’ll take the steps to make you his best friend.

Marry a man who takes care of his family. If he’s out every weekend and his mother is going hungry, he’ll do the same thing to you when you’re his family. Run! As fast as you can!

Marry a man who you can have an argument with and he Never resorts to violence. A man who raises his hand to a woman is a no no. Ladies, you are too good to be anybody’s punching bag. If your man is violent, make him your ex man. That situation is incredibly unhealthy and unfair to yourself. You don’t deserve it and staying there isn’t helping but enabling him. Leave for your sake and for his sake.

Marry a man who doesn’t show his displeasure of you in public. If he’s yelling at you in public or going around telling everyone your mistakes, run! A good man will correct you in private. At the end of the day, he cares about your growth not trying to embarrass or belittle you.

Marry a man who respects the boundaries of your relationship. If he’s flirting with other women, don’t for one second kid yourself that he’ll stop when you’re married. Quit trying to be the cool girlfriend! That road leads to heartache and bitterness.

Marry a man who has a kind heart. If he’s the type to kick beggars in the streets and torment the underprivileged, be very afraid. What’s to stop him from tormenting you?

Marry a man who understands the value of money. If he spends every dime of his salary and has no idea about savings, family life will be difficult for him. A family requires a leader with a vision.

Marry a man who is trustworthy and dependable. You know if he said he’s going to do something, he’ll go out of his way to do it.

Marry a man who compliments and does little things to show you he appreciates you. He doesn’t have to be Alejandro but you know he values who you are to him. A simple thank you goes a long way.

So there you have it! The list is not exhaustive but it touches on most of the things I think are important. At the end of the day, you choose who to marry. Relegate the flashy things to the bottom of the list and focus on who the person you’re marrying actually is.

Mwende Ngao is a writer, performing poet and producer at Matotoya Films.


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  1. Well said…Totally agreed with your article. It was my first time reading it and il definitely follow :)What happens when one meets a guy with great qualities but for some reason he is just not appealing. As in no chemistry, no excitement…nothing? Sounds like an ask “Aunty Rose” question.

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