Relationships: How to ask her out on Valentine’s day

A couple out on a date. Image from

You have been eyeing this girl for a while now. She lives around your neighborhood and you only get to see her in the morning or the evening as she comes back home. You’ve had a few chances to interact with her and you really like her personality, her charm, the way she handles herself and even the way her eyes light up as she starts talking to you. You like her; and Valentine’s Day is approaching and you’ve floated the idea of taking her out. Problem is you’re a bit shy. How do you even start? Where do you even begin?

A couple out on a date. Image from
A couple out on a date. Image from

Here are some tips you could use to get her to go out with you on Valentine’s Day:

1. Give yourself a pep talk: If you’re nervous about approaching a girl, first, put the situation into perspective; this is not an interview but a normal conversation. Second, be calm and confident and remember: you are more likely to regret not talking to the girl you like.

2. Find out about more the person you like: This doesn’t mean stalking all their social media accounts but actually spending time with this person. Find out what they like, what ticks them off and what is most likely to easily ruin their mood. Are they looking for a relationship? What do you two have in common? Such information will help you know whether or not to proceed in the next step.

3. Tell them you like them: People are afraid of rejection. People don’t like being told no, but the risk maybe worth it. And if they say no it’s a shame, but it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world and that you won’t meet anyone right for you

4. Don’t use cheesy pickup lines: Remember all the clever lines you creatively came up with in the shower? Don’t use them. Your best bet is to be natural. Don’t over think it and you’ll find that the conversation will actually run smoothly.

5. Engage in productive conversation: Be original and engage her in conversation as you also actively participate. As you ask her to tell you more about herself, don’t let your mind wander off. By making the effort to know more about her shows how much interest you have in her and will earn you more points.

6. Don’t fixate on them: More often than not, we usually put great potential on a particular person and we fixate on them to the exclusion of friends and even family. Don’t put too much pressure on the situation, just let nature take its course.

7. Confidence is key: Always be confident. You are your greatest cheerleader and also your greatest critic.

8. Don’t discuss past breakups or how often you work out: The initial conversation reflects who you are as a person so be careful on the personal details you disclose on the first date.

9. Get creative: Don’t just go up to her and ask for her number. You could meet up at a social event, for example in an event that promotes a cause that you stand for like conserving the environment. From there even as you go along you can get to know more about her and you can proceed from there.

10. Hang out in an environment that promotes conversation: Don’t just meet up in bars and other noisy places. Consider places where you can both sit and talk without much distraction. You can even go out of your way and plan a small picnic or a walk in the park.

11. Ask her out: Strive to do it in person rather than via text with cute emojis. Make the effort to go the extra mile and call her. Tell her that you’ll pick her up and be on time. You don’t have to use a fancy sonnet when asking her out; keep it simple and original but worth the while.

12. It’s just a normal day: February 14th might be considered the most pressure-filled romantic day in the year, so don’t add more pressure onto it. Have fun without thinking too much about it.

13. Clean up: This is one of the most important things that people don’t pay much attention to. Simple rules in hygiene like having fresh breath and smelling good are at most times overlooked. As you go approach your potential date, make sure you clean up, apply deodorant and floss your teeth. You can also use mouthwash if necessary.

14. Groom up: Take your time to pay attention to the finer details. Get a haircut if you need one, trim your facial hair and also don’t forget to moisturize to avoid irritation.

You could also hit the gym. While some may not see the need to go to the gym, other guys might want to work on their physique. The end goal is not to look like a bodybuilder, but to build up some muscle and maybe lose a few kilos. It also adds up on your confidence when you ask your potential date out.

15. Pay attention to your clothes: This doesn’t mean going out of your way to buying expensive Italian suits, but wear attire that is flattering. Spend time picking your outfits and looking out for tears, creases, wrinkles etc. there is no dire need to change your entire wardrobe, just take extra care of what you wear.

16. Get her a gift: Since this might be your first potential date, start small but significant.

17. Opt for a date rather than a movie: As much as going to the movies is a great option, opt for a date over a meal. This is the beginning of the relationship and you need to get one another better, movies on the other hand have us focusing our attention to the screen rather than on our date.

18. Be a gentleman: Just because she agreed to going on a date, doesn’t mean that you should stop acting like a gentleman. The journey has just begun so pay to the finer details. As you take her for dinner, pull out her chair for her to sit down, pay attention to her and also switch off your phones or put them on silent. Don’t be in such a hurry to post the details of your date on social media, enjoy each other’s company.

19. The key is to build on the foundation of the friendship that you have and see how it will grow from there. Don’t be in a rush to start picking out the furniture for your home together. Enjoy the sweet savory moments of your friendship first.

20. Don’t be in a rush to get physical with her: Sex has become a very casual act in our society today. You find that most people (even on Valentine’s) just want a casual fling and move on with their lives. If you’re looking to make the two of you last, it shouldn’t be about trying to get her into your bed. Respect her boundaries.

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