Single Lady In Nairobi: Regrets The Morning After

Young couple in bed, looking away from each other. Image from

Do you have someone you wish you can unbang?

I do! I am sure every girl has that one person that you had sex with once or twice and for the life of you, you can’t explain to yourself let alone to your friends that you ever did it. It is like you hit rock bottom and you continued to dig and found yourself with this guy.

Believe me, it’s annoying. The thought of it will annoy the living daylights out of you. When you think about it, you will cringe and start singing a hymn. Yes, that happens.

Well, I have one guy. As I am writing this, I am all cursing…. Why oh why!

When I met this guy, I was at a point where I had stayed for long without the affection of the opposite sex. I was busy at work, not in a good state socially, I barely went out and at night, I would simply not sleep. Above that, I was feeling extremely lonely but when morning came, life went on as normal.

This guy had the cheapest lines on planet earth. He said the silliest things and within weeks, he was proclaiming his love for me. I, on the other hand, was taking him as a joke. We worked together on a project and I saw him at least 3 times a week. He was the office comedian. He had the body of a comedian. Thin, big specs, weird in behaviour, the way he talks even the way he talks.

That was the time my WhatsApp messages were just from my family group and my girlfriend giving me endless gossip. Sometimes a woman just wants a sweet message to wake up to, a flirty message to take her through the day and maybe a goodnight message. A message that just says ‘Are you okay’ How was your day’. These are powerful messages.

Unfortunately for me, the only other messages I was receiving were from this guy. I started by feeling sorry for him, I ended up feeling sorry for myself. How can this happen? I am a beautiful woman with a good job. Aaargh, I just wanted to feel something.

We became great friends, grabbed coffee once in a while. Then one day it happened. The coffee turned to lunch at his place. He was not even making an effort, he was clumsy, his house was untidy and I can go on about what was wrong with him. What I need to share is what was wrong with me at that moment. I think he moved closer and I was all up in his business. We shared the clumsiest kiss for the first 25 seconds. And within 20 minutes, we were done. Funny thing, he was actually good. Forget his protruding hipbone eating into my flesh.

There was an awkward silence for some minutes. Then it went on for days and weeks. Later on, we became friends again. This time I was out of my hole and had no desire to do anything with him. I hated myself. I could not imagine what made me get there. That was some hole I was in.

My only one wish: I wish I could turn back the clock and not have had sex with that guy!


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***Single lady in Nairobi aka the Singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different women. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that ladies have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of

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  1. The day he becomes a billionaire you smile at the thought that you once had sex with him. Hahaha. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were once like him and maybe some ladies once regretted having sex with them.

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