Single Lady In Nairobi: The Fuss About The Big O


Last week, the internet went wild about female orgasm. Apparently, some researchers think the female orgasm is not important when it comes to sex and more so, during pro-creation.  What really surprised me is that these researchers think they are the first ones to think that. Have they met some Kenyan men?

Is female orgasm rocket science?  Apparently, it is. According to Cosmopolitans survey, it shows that most women don’t get to achieve orgasm with their partners.

  • Two-thirds of adult females aged 18-40 say that they have faked orgasms
  • 72% said they’d been with a guy who climaxed himself — but didn’t even try to return the compliment
  • 38% said they weren’t getting enough clitoral stimulation
  • 50% said: ‘I often feel like I’m almost there – but can’t quite get over the edge.’

I asked a few women about their own experiences and while some are satisfied, some are not even close to having a great sex life? Why? Let me share some of the reasons:

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Mr. Know it all

Some men feel like they know it all. Just because it worked with your ex, does not work for the next one. Apparently, a guy will jump right in and do what he thinks is right. For most women, they find it rude to correct or direct a man especially when it comes to bedroom matters. For the few who speak out, they might get to enjoy the big O.

Ask her what she wants in bed. If she is a confident woman, she will tell you what makes her tickle, what makes her excited and just what other things she prefers in bed. If she is shy, try a few things on her body and ask her if she likes it, or even judge from her reaction.

All in all, it is not wise to just do the same routine with the other woman thinking it will work with the current one.

Mr. Believe in his own hype

Ever met a man who thinks he is God’s gift to women and will do everything to ensure that you remember that?  He may be good looking and all. He is known to have many girlfriends and will believe women need to be at his feet, kissing them and telling him how great he is in bed. When it gets to his head, he believes he is doing you a favour by giving it to you. This guy will give you the most half-baked experience you have ever had.

He will talk of all the women he has been with, even the big names in town but his game is still as it was in the university. Nothing has improved. Foreplay to him is you working him up and when you feel it is your turn, he goes straight to action.  He will then ask, ‘how do you like it’ after every 10 seconds just so he can continue feeling good.

Mr. I care about my own climax only

Yes, there is that one man who will not care whether you reach orgasm or not.  He will start the race before you even ready. Worse still, he will not understand why you are not ready for him. He will not even bother with lube. Spit and move on. This is the guy who never gets a call back. To him, foreplay is for the weak. He is the most selfish character you will find. You will hate the 6 minutes with them, and if that is not bad enough, he will ask ‘did you come?’

There are probably other types we haven’t mentioned. Ladies your thoughts?

***Single lady in Nairobi is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different women. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that ladies have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of

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