Love In The Time Of Social Media: Should You Be Friends With Bae On Facebook?

Love in a time of Facebook. Image from

I grew up in the village. Being on Facebook was one of the biggest achievements one could make bearing in mind that technology was taking over the world. Opening a Facebook account was very expensive for us as cyber cafés were not easily accessible. For one to run Facebook account computer knowledge was required because internet enabled phones were not present in the village by then.  Youths could flock in cyber café with their saved pocket money just to get their names on Facebook and get into the class of those who had seen light.

So when I heard that Kirinyaga County somewhere in Central Kenya had spent millions in the process of opening a Facebook account, I was not shocked at all. At one time I was in the same scenario of paying heavily in order to get a Facebook account. But what makes the case extra ordinary is that here tax payer’s money was used in the whole affair while in my case I used my saved pocket money.

With the growth of social media platforms people have now become anti-social with everybody becoming addictive to social media like never before. You will be surprised nowadays to walk into a house or matatus and everybody is busy on their phones to the extent of not talking to each other.

Many relationships have been broken due to social media fever; once in a while you will see people in relationships advertising their affairs on Facebook, Twitter or even Instagram when things are sweet and working in the right direction.  They say if you want your relationship to last longer, avoid dragging it to social media. I believe it’s true.

Love in a time of Facebook. Image from
Love in a time of Facebook. Image from

So social media have broken a good number of relationships that when I can start to mention I can end up creating a list similar to an IEBC register. Today we focus on the mistakes that people have been doing while in relationships without knowing they will ruin their relationships in in future or even instantly.

When you want to have one of the best relationships in this era of the internet, always make sure that you allow social media love to stay on social media. Draw very distinctive boundaries in terms of what to avoid while in a relationship and live a happy life. Looking for true love on the internet gives me a picture of someone somewhere in a desert busy looking for a borehole. Many people who are on Facebook or social media are looking for a playing ground that can be able to relax their mind and therefore never ever take them serious.

I have seen people who have broken up with their boyfriend or girlfriends simply because of a Facebook post they shared innocently. Some posts tend to turn out as serious accusations which leave people in deep regret as to why they shared the posts. Others have been accused of cheating just because of the type of pictures or status that appeared on their Facebook accounts.

So if you want to save your relationship, make sure that you observe a few things;

  1. Think about whether you really need to be friends with the person you are dating on Facebook

This is one of the biggest decisions one may have to make in terms of saving his or her relationship. If you want your relationship to last long you should think about avoiding being friends with your girlfriend/boyfriend on social media. This is very tricky but always one of the wise decisions one can make. It’s not about insecurity but a good way of avoiding trouble and drama that can germinate from social media. If you want to keep in touch with your partner or girlfriend make sure you use other networks such as WhatsApp, text messages or even calls.

The main reason why you should not be friends with your boyfriend/girlfriend on social media is simply because he/she might post something then you find it irritating or offensive. It might be an innocent comment that ends up fueling an argument.

  1. Keep off his/her profile

You may find it difficult to avoid being friends with your girlfriend/boyfriend on social media. If this happens, make sure you keep off his/her profile. Checking your partners profile now and then might end up hurting you for nothing. Once in a while we get carried away and post some funny things that might haunt us thereafter. Sometimes your partner may share a picture or post on their timeline that could upset you and because you are constantly following him you end up being hurt by the post.

  1. Don’t share passwords

This comes in with the angle of trust. If you trust each other and you know you can handle any situation in your relationship without “catching mafeelings” then share your password. A good relationship is built on trust, sharing that Facebook password may end up crushing your relationship.

This is especially for men; a lot goes on in the inbox of your girlfriend whether you like it or not. They say every normal woman is seduced more than five times a day, so if you have decided to share that password doesn’t be shocked by the kind of messages she receives. Long queues of “Team Mafisi” are always salivating at your women and simply because she is in relationship with you, don’t think that other people will stop ogling at her. So to stay safe avoid sharing your password.

  1. Keep your drama indoors

They are those who can’t help it but advertise their relationship on social media. If you are this kind of person, make sure that you keep your drama in doors. Many social media users have their own problems, so when you start posting yours be sure you won’t get help. Many will sympathize with you, making you think they care, but the truth is they don’t.

Social media is not a clinic that will help you sort out your issues, when experiencing problems make sure you handle them privately or you will end up single.

  1. Choose your status wisely

When you have managed your relationship on Facebook (social media) this might be the crucial part to deal with. Here you have to choose your status careful bearing in mind that your girlfriend/ boyfriend is somewhere watching you. Imagine you are engaged then, you decide to go through your partner’s profile, then you find out that their status is reading single or complicated. This raises a big question mark. So make sure that you choose your status carefully to suit your current situation. I have seen people break up simple because of these small things. Don’t make your partner feel as if they are dating themselves. If you took your relationships to social media make it represent the true you.

Facebook status. Image from
  1. Protect your relationship

If you are in love and you have exposed it to social media, make sure you protect it by all means. Fight for what is yours; if you see something you don’t like on your partners profile point out and square it in the right manner. While in a relationship women are good at analyzing situations and   run to conclusions without asking their boyfriends. So to be on the safer side makes sure you protect your relationship.

  1. Poke him/her

These are some of the games you can play with your partner while on Facebook; but make sure that he/she likes the game or else you will regret for poking him/her.

Poking and being poked is fun but can turn out to be irritating if one in not in the mood. Analyze the ground before you pick up the poking game.

  1. Personal life

It’s advisable to separate your personal life from social media unless it’s paying bills, please keep it private. I have friends who share everything they are doing day in day out. Basing on this I can claim that I know them better than their own parents judging from stuff they put up on their accounts. For a successful relationship, try as much as possible to avoid announcing all your moves because not everyone on your friends list is happy about your progress. Don’t confuse social media with your diary.

  1. Quit

If you can’t stand seeing him/her on your timeline, please do yourself a favor and unfriend the person. You will better explain later when your relationship is healthy and sound. It doesn’t show how weak you are, but how you care about your feelings.

In this era of Facebook; try as much as possible not to drag your love or relationship on social media.

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A journalist by profession, a poet by nature, a writer and blogger by passion and a music lover...