Single Lady In Nairobi: When Your Charming Boyfriend Turns Out To Be A Thug

When your boyfriend is a thug. Image from

Ours started like all 21st Century love stories, with a slide into my DM’s and many flirty messages later we were boyfriend and girlfriend. The relationship started off smoothly, he was very thoughtful, was never late for our dates, never forgot my birthday and didn’t pull those Valentine’s Day disappearing acts that most men like to do.

What was off about him, however, was how he was almost always broke even though he claimed to be a freelance IT specialist. When he’d ask me for money, it was always for a grand ‘bizna’ that was going to be a goldmine but none of his projects ever materialized. Sometimes, he would disappear for days from his apartment (which I was never invited to for the length of our relationship) and then say that he was on a ‘bonding trip’ with his boys and they like to be off-grid so they never carried their phones.


black couple. Image from

These things never bothered me that much. After all, he was all I had always hoped for in a man. Sensitive, sweet and understanding. All that was about to change that February afternoon.

Anyone who knows me would know that I dislike heavy lifting and would rather leave that to the man who happens to be around at the time. That is why on that particular day when I had to move from my apartment, Adam, my boyfriend was to play the crucial role of handyman.

The day was overcast, I hated the weather and felt worn out from all the packing that we had to do. On top of that, the moving company cancelled on us, citing an erroneous double booking. Luckily, we had Adam and he ‘saved’ the day by calling his guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who had a lorry that would help us transport my things to the new location.

After about an hour, our plan B arrived. My con man radar should have gone off the minute I saw the owner of the vehicle but unfortunately, hindsight is not something that occurs in the present tense. The man was scruffy, didn’t seem like he had showered in days and he had this look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite place and it made me very uncomfortable.

Nonetheless, we continued packing and when we were done, Adam started to load the vehicle. Within a short time, we were almost done. My friend, Jessica who was also helping me move handed him the keys to her car and asked that her laptop be taken to it while we finished up with the utensils.

Adam agreed gladly, he took the laptop and minutes later he was back, handed Jessica the keys and went back downstairs.

We waited for about half an hour, our patience was wearing thin and I wanted to be at my new house before dark so that I could set up the basics like the curtains and make sure the electricity was working. Jessica and I decided to call him and find out what was taking him so long.

Thus began the frantic search for our phones. It yielded nothing. We ran downstairs to the parking lot and the moving car was nowhere to be seen and so was Adam. On checking her car, Jessica discovered her laptop was missing.


I knocked on my neighbour’s door and asked to use her phone to call Adam.


‘’Adam? Adam, it’s Amy. Where the hell are you?’

Static and ruffling on the other side of the line.

‘Hello, yeah, sorry for leaving so unexpectedly, I had an errand to run and it was short notice so I didn’t get time to call you.’

‘Where did you have to go?’


‘Oh, so what time will you be back?’

‘In fact, I’m on my way back.’

‘My phone? And Jessica’s? Did you take them to the car when she gave you the laptop?’

‘I never saw them.’

I gulped, trying to keep calm and the feeling growing larger until it now sat menacingly in front of me.

‘Adam, where is Jessica’s laptop? Where is my phone?’


The feeling taunting me now.


Silence and then the line disconnected.

So we went back upstairs and sat dejectedly in the sitting room which was empty except for two boxes of wine glasses that I had bought two months ago. After three hours of waiting for him to come back, it finally set in that both Jessica and I had been robbed blind and by my boyfriend of all people!


When your boyfriend is a thug. Image from

Jessica was livid. Enraged by the fact that not only had he stolen our things but that he had also inconsiderately taken our pizza which was supposed to be lunch and I sympathised with her because we were indeed hungry. After gaining a semblance of calm, we borrowed another phone and called one of our friends who allowed us to spend the night at her house as Jessica lived out of town and was only visiting for the weekend so as to help me move.

I learned two things from my experience that when it rains, it pours and that misfortune will always come in threes. I was left with no furniture, a phone and no food in my belly. Two, to adjust the privacy settings on my social media accounts.

Be careful who you let into your heart and your DMs.

If you like this check out

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This story is loosely based on a true story that was on Twitter last week. Single lady in Nairobi is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different women. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that ladies have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of


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The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that people have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of