Dealing With Disappointment


Things do not always go the way we want them to. You might not get that job you applied for, the girl or guy you love does not feel the same way about you, your friend betrays you or the government announces that the water shortage is going to get worse and you were already only receiving water once a month.

Life is full of disappointments and there is really nothing you can do to make sure that you don’t get disappointed but you can manage your reaction. People deal with bad situations in different ways. Some people drink, others wallow and some pretend that it did not happen. There is really no right way to deal with disappointments but some ways are better than others. Personally, I would get really down and start to think that there is no hope in life and I will go to a very dark place. I started to look for alternative ways of coping and here are a few tips that I found helpful.

  1. Do not take things personally. Sometimes when bad things happen it is not just happening to you. For example when there is a water shortage in Nairobi you need to remember that millions of people have to suffer through it.
  1. Count your blessings. Instead of focusing on what you do not have, focus on what you do have. It will help you realize that despite the fact that a few things are going wrong there are things in your life that are good and holding on to the good things can help you deal with the bad.
  1. Try to come up with a solution. If something I was trying to do goes wrong, I find it more productive to try and think of a solution knowing what will not work now. This way I am not avoiding the problem but at the same time I am not wallowing in self- pity.
  1. Get some rest or take a nap. They say it is not good to avoid your feelings or bad situations but this is only temporary. After a nap, I usually feel a lot better and I am able to look at the disappointment objectively. Thus I avoid feeling down on myself.
  1. Talking to someone. This really helps when it is something particularly difficult and you feel like you cannot deal with it on your own. However, not anyone is good to talk to; some people will just make you feel worse. I suggest watching this video where Dr, Brene Brown gives advice on the friends you can share with and those you do not need to share with.

  1. When things seem particularly difficult if you are a person of faith then prayer is the way to go. It really helps to calm down when you feel like God is in control. I usually pray for understanding and peace of mind and so far it has worked.

I hope these few tips can help you out. You can deal with disappointments in a healthy way to ensure that they do not negatively affect you.

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