Relationships: What To Do When You Find Yourself Stood Up At The Altar


‘He left me at the altar.’

She disappeared on our wedding day’.

These are some of the statements that are increasingly becoming common in our society. But sometimes there is a twist to the story. Did you read the story that was trending about the woman whose fiancée stood her up and then she got married to the guy two years later? Well here it is – My fiancée stood me up on our wedding day. Famed Musician Eunice Njeri narrated her story of how she left her fiancée at the altar. She is among the few who have been courageous to face the public and explain their actions.

Being left at the altar has got to be one of the most humiliating things one can experience. You could be the unlucky groom waiting at the altar for your budding bride or the bride cheerfully getting ready for the biggest day of her life. Whatever the case, realizing that you have been left at the altar is a bitter pill to swallow. Relationships: What To Do When You Have To Cancel Your Wedding

So what now? What is the next step when your heart feels like it has just been broken into a million pieces?

Always have someone to handle announcements

This is not meant to actively want to jinx your wedding. According to Self Growth, it is important to designate the responsibility of conveying important messages to the crowd to a trusted friend prior to the wedding. This way, in case you are stood up, you do not have to be the one to share the bad news with your guests. That would only serve to aggregate the hurt you already feel. You can quietly retreat to a safe space to either cry or work out your feelings.


Being left at the altar is devastating. Image from

Give the guests the option to leave or stay

At the day of the wedding, it is very unlikely that you can get back most of the money used. So after the guests are informed about the cancellation of the wedding, offer them refreshments and food for the effort they made for showing up. The same person designated to tell them about the wedding can also chaperone the occasion. The guests should also be informed to carry with them the gifts they came with to reduce the hustle of having to return them.

Take a vacation

If there was ever a time that you needed to escape, this would be it. Take the honeymoon vacation you had booked with your partner to work through your emotions. If you had not booked any honeymoon yet or you are short on cash, just find a way to take some time to yourself to clear your head. If you do not want to be alone at this time, take a friend with you to help you through it.

In 2016, after Kate, a 30-year-old who was left by her fiancé, reported that she had bought a one-way ticket out of the country. Years later that decision helped her discover her love for travel. Taking that time off can help you discover opportunities you may not have thought about before. It also allows you to come back home feeling a little rejuvenated and ready to go on with your life.

Avoid negativity

After being left at the altar, you may feel the need to lash out at the ex which is understandable. He/she hurt and betrayed you after they promised to love you until the end of time. Psychologist Nancy Fern says that closure is a naturally occurring process.

Regardless of whether you choose to question your ex, true closure comes from a place of forgiveness, healing and acceptance. Avoid being in a negative space after the ordeal. Keep yourself busy. Hang around supportive friends or get into something that will distract you. Over time, it will cease to hurt as much and soon will be a fading memory. Here are a few tips on how to get over heartbreak.

Here are some tips on Relationships: What To Do When You Have To Cancel Your Wedding

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