So after months of planning, spending big bucks and inviting your friends and relatives, your big day is approaching – your wedding day. The only thing remaining is to walk down the aisle with the love of your life. However, life seems to have other plans. Weeks, days or hours to your wedding day, your soon to be life partner calls to tell you the wedding is off. Others, merely disappear into thin air. Spotting that their personal belongings are gone or unanswered phone calls is the only indication that they want out.
There are also instances where a couple mutually decides to call the wedding off. According to a study done by The Wedding Report, 13% of all engagements do not end in marriage. For whatever reasons the wedding is off, there are things required of you before you cancel your wedding. The magazine, The Knot, terms it as The Etiquette of Calling off Your wedding.
1. Notify all your guests
If the wedding invitations had not gone out, you can just notify the few friends and family. The real issue comes in when you invitations had been sent out and people RSVP’d to the invitation. If the decision is not mutual, the hurting partner may not be in a condition to notify the guests of the cancellation. A trusted friend or relative can take up the responsibility of informing people of the change in events. It can be either by email, phone call or sending out of messages.
The decision to share the details of the breakup falls solely on the couple, bride or groom. There is no pressure to explain to your guests’ reasons you may not even understand yet. The prior notification is enough.
2. The Services
If the wedding is cancelled on an actual day, there is little that can be done. It is important to notify the vendors, photographers and any staff you had hired about the cancellation. Services such as catering are usually non-refundable. It is therefore courteous to allow your guests to partake in food and refreshments. A show of gratitude since they took the time to come.
However, if the cancellation is months prior to the wedding, you are eligible for a partial refund on some services. For services without refunds, you can access sites such as Cancelled Weddings. These sites link people from all over the world and allow people to sell their whole wedding packages or honeymoon vacations to other couples at subsidized prices. This way, you can at least get a little of your money back.
3. The gifts
In the event that you had received any gifts before the wedding, it is required that you return them. According to The Spruce, notes expressing your gratitude should go along with those gifts. If the breakup was not mutual, nobody wants reminders of ‘the wedding that could have been’ lying around.
4. Gaining Closure
Now, this is purely a personal choice. If the break-up was mutual, then there is no need to confront your partner. If the cancellation was caused by one of the people in the relationship, it is important that one talk to their ex. However, before any confrontation ensues, take some time off to collect your thoughts. Give yourself time to heal. Then once you are ready, talk to them. This way you can finally get closure and move on. If your ex is not willing to talk, there are various ways you can get closure. Here are tips for getting over heartbreak.
Sometimes the process of cancelling a wedding is as daunting as the process to arrange the wedding. It is emotionally and physically draining. However, with a great support system, one can quickly run through the things required and move on with that stage of their lives.Unfortunately it can happen that you get stood up at the altar. What should you do?
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Featured image via www.marypkarnes.com.