How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work


“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

Many people think that long distance relationships are doomed to fail. Our family members are often the first people to warn us about getting into such relationships. It is however understandable. Maintaining a long distance relationship is challenging. The loneliness can be overwhelming causing the relationship to be complicated.

However, life is never in our control and circumstances can force us into one. If we value the relationship, we can choose to the patient and learn to find the sweetness amidst the distance. So how do we survive it?

Communicate with each other but not excessively

Communication is important in any relationship. It becomes that much more crucial when you are separated by distance. Text each other ‘good morning’ and ‘good morning’ each day. Make an effort to know how the other person’s day went. This way you can still be able to keep a tight bond. With the current applications that we have, you can send each other pictures and voice notes in a bid to remind each other that you appreciate one another.

However, LifeHack, a lifestyle magazine, says that too much communication can affect the relationship. Wanting to talk to your spouse 24/7 is practically impossible and can come off as clingy.Less is more. Create a little space between the two of you.

Maintain your intimacy

Intimacy in any relationship, in whatever form is a biological need. It helps to keep the flame burning. If possible, use skype or any other apps to talk. Seeing each other face to face is sure to add to the intimacy a little more. Send each other pictures that depict everyday activity. You are able to feel closer to your spouse this way. You can also use momentos- things that remind you of each other. Human beings are biologically made to attach meanings to the smallest of things depending on who they belong to. When our minds fail, we hold on to something that makes us feel connected to each other. According to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Communication, people in long distance relationships are more likely to share meaningful thoughts and feelings that increase intimacy.

Set ground rules

Whether your relationship began as a long distance relationship or life forced you into one, boundaries and rules are necessary. Establish whether your relationship is exclusive or you are allowed to date other people. Be clear about your expectations of each other. If your spouse is not happy with you staying out too late partying, discuss it and come to an amicable decision that suits you both.

Be open with each other, this will go a long way in building trust in your relationship. Family share says that trust prevents jealousy and insecurities in a relationship. This can always be prevented by being clear about what you want from each to manage each other’s expectations.


Long distance relationship. Image from

Visit each other

This will depend on your financial capability. See each other as often as you can. The Huffington Posts suggests getting a credit card that earns air miles if you are countries apart. If the distance is not too long, one can take a long weekend and opt to drive. You can spend time together and with your friends or family. Whatever works for you. The point is that you spend time together. Your visits do not have to perfect. Remember that you are in a relationship just like any other. Some visits will be full of wonderful memories others filled with fights. It is normal. Do not think one fight during your visit will end your relationship. Like I had said, patience is key.

Figure out an endgame

This is crucial in the long run of any long-term relationship. Come together and create a plan. You can not be in a long distance relationship forever. You need to establish what your next step in the relationship is. An immediate decision is not quite possible but if the relationship is headed somewhere, you need to ask the tough questions. These plans you set allow you to have something to look forward to. This will motivate you, even more, to work harder for your relationship.

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