When most of us think of a proposal, we think about romantic gestures, diamond rings, tears of joy (if the proposal goes well), basically all that romantic stuff we see in the movies. And while that might be what entails of a proposal, there is a lot to consider before you get to all that glitz and glam. Proposals are simply gateways into marriage. Asking for someone’s hand in marriage is making a commitment to be with this person for the rest of your life. That is something that should not be taken lightly. So before you get down on one knee, and ask for your partner’s hand in marriage, there are some things you should ensure you are sure about. These are things that can prove to be major hurdles or in your marriage if they are not sorted beforehand.
The children issue
Talking about children you are yet to have together may seem a little weird but it is a conversation you two should have before you decide to propose. Things like the timeline for starting a family or the number of children you plan on having can be settled after marriage. The one thing that can strain a couple is different stands on having children where one partner wants children and the other does not.
No matter how much you spin it, there is no denying that it can be a big enough issue to break up your marriage. Getting into a commitment like that assuming or hoping that your partner will change their mind about having children can be a dangerous road to tread. Just ensure you have had the conversation and you are on the same page.
Knowing each other’s career goals and what you each want to accomplish in life is important in any relationship. However, before you make your partner a permanent member of your family, ensure that you have discussed how your career goals and path fit into each other. Deciding how to achieve those goals and supporting each other is a crucial foundation for a couple. Finding out after you are married that your significant other plans to move to another country having not consulted you can be a little tricky.
The issue here is not about whether you are a Christian, Muslim, and Buddhist, Jewish etc. There have been many interfaith marriages that have worked. However, just like career goals, what matters is how they will affect your relationship in the long run. If you find yourselves in a situation that may cause collision of your faiths, can you work through it? You must know how your spouse will deal with issues, beliefs or even traditions before taking the leap into proposing.
Now while this is still such a tricky conversation to have, it is still very important you have it before any proposal happens. This should be an open and honest conversation so both of you know the state of each other’s finances. In the eventuality that your spouse agrees to marry you, you will start to make financial decisions together. You will both need to be informed about each other’s finances to make smart decisions. Financial Discussions Couples Should Have Before They Get Married
You need to know what family you are marrying into. Understand how your spouse relates to their members of the family. Understand the dynamics at play in their personal relationships. Additionally, knowing how your spouse relates with their family members says a lot about what kind of a person they are so it can help in deciding if that is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life.
However, at the end of the day, you are the only one who knows what is best for you. Do not make that decision lightly though, marriage is a serious issue. Think with your heart and mind. Love is a strong emotion but there is so much more that is needed for a marriage to work.
Finances can break up a relationship. You should have a money discussion before you get married. Check out this post Financial Discussions Couples Should Have Before They Get Married