Relationships: Tips To Help You Get Out Of A Dating Rut


You know that feeling when you have been out a bunch of random dates that ended badly? So much so dating starts to feel like a chore. It exhausts you. You are almost convinced that the world is out to get you and you shall die alone. You are in a rut; a dating rut. A period in your life that makes you think about the allure of arranged marriages. I mean they cannot possibly be worse than the dates you have been on right? You could try blind dating. But if that’s not for you, here a couple of things you should try.

Revaluate what you are looking for

Many times when we find ourselves struggling while dating is because we have lost sight of what we were looking for. You may have lost touch with the things you want in a partner. Remind yourself the traits and characteristics you want. Listen to yourself. Do not get lost in other people’s idea of dating. You are unique. Make the dating experience yours. You make the rules, not your friends or family. Do not go out with another person because your friends think he/she is worth the date. Go out with them because you want to. This way, you enjoy the feeling and dating stops feels more like a chore.


Couple sitting at the bar and looking irritated. Image from

Widen your net

The reason you may be having a bad date after bad date is because you are fishing from the same pool so to speak. You are constantly going out with people from one area, the workplace etc. Avoid boxing yourself in. Cast your net into to different pools. Be open to meeting people from all over. You never know, your partner can come from the place you least expect. This allows you to diversify the kind of people you meet.

Stop putting yourself on a timer

So maybe your girls are all in relationships or your boys are all getting married. This does not mean that you run around looking for a person to settle down with so you can join them. You will wear out really quickly and will lose sight of what you want. Be comfortable in your journey; do not rush it to keep up with others. Additionally, do not conform to pressure to settle down or be in a relationship. Take your time. Even if it means taking a little while for yourself. Do not go through 10 dates in a week because you need to find ‘the one’.

Do not be the ‘yes’ kind

Even though it is advised to be open-minded when dating, you do not have to say yes to everything. Remember that you have set standards for yourself for a reason. You do not have to go to every date you are asked on because you feel like if you turn it down it will take a while before you find another. If you are positive that you do not want to go out with someone, do not do it. Going out with someone you did not want to go out with will burn you out real quick.

Also, if you not necessarily like the idea the person has suggested for a first date, raise the issue with them. A first date is supposed to be fun for both of you. If you subject yourself to being in an uncomfortable situation, you may end up hating the date even if the person was great.

It is never that serious

At the end of the day, it is just dating and not solving the world’s famine crisis. Have fun with it. Be open to disappointments and successes. You are not in the dating world alone. Many people are in it too. So do not over think it. Share your experiences with close friends, especially bad ones. It really helps to laugh about it.

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