I recently found out that an ex-friend of mine was getting married, and by happenstance on a previous occasion, I learned that this same ex friend, has a bun in the oven.
For you to understand my position (or maybe imposition) in her life experiences, you’d have to know that she and I split on rather messy terms. I said she was a shitty human being and she disagreed – there’s obviously more to it than that but I’d rather not get into; partly because it’s long and also because I no longer care about it.
I digress, when my friends told me that she was pregnant I barely batted a lash, but soon after, it sunk in. My ex-friend who happens to be younger than me is out here making a life while I still have a friends with benefits situation. I thought to myself while scheduling yet another meaningless dick appointment.
There’s something about us women and finding the perfect match, it’s a coveted ideal we all aspire to. Find a nice guy who’ll embody all the things we want in a man and in many cases, who our fathers were throughout our lives. Sounds like a simple enough task right? Wrong! It’s a ride riddled with a lot of emotional turbulence.
A lot of mean thoughts came into my mind – “she’s not ready, she’ll be a terrible mother” and “last time I checked you were single and now you’re wifed up – let’s see how long that last”, what can I say, I’m a Scorpio. After getting all the negativity out of my system it dawned on me; I need to get my shit together.
I don’t necessarily have to get married tomorrow but I should have stopped having casual sex like yesterday. I don’t have to have a kid but I should be guarding my body and soul for the child I eventually hope to have. I’m no longer friends with her, but I can view her successes and failures without bitterness.
See that’s the thing no one ever wants to admit, we are in constant competition with our peers, especially those we’re not too fond of – we want our lives to be better but hardly ever consider the antagonist’s potential and inner glow beside their murky misgivings. They most likely work harder than you if they’re ahead so the next thing to do is evaluate yourself and step your game up.
Speaking of jealous friends, Relationships: On Jealous Friends And How to Spot Them