Relationships: On Jealous Friends And How to Spot Them


Friendship is a tough “ship” to maintain. As you get older it becomes more difficult to retain meaningful relationships for many extenuating reasons: trauma, non-committal behaviour and jealousy.

It’s happened to us on more than one occasion. I for one am not shy to admit the green-eyed monster has sprouted up within me and caused me to feel disdain for those close to me. It’s hard to admit to oneself that you are fuming with envy, albeit the first step to checking yourself and assessing the root of your jealousy and eventually digging it out as best you can.

This article highlights those in your circle unable to see the malice within them, those so clouded by their judgements of you that they fail to look inwards, those who undermine and belittle you at every opportunity.
Keep in mind jealousy brews silently and gets greater over time. At first, your pal will toss out micro-aggressions in the form of snide comments here and there about your appearance and other capabilities; perhaps your hair, your potential, or your character. Do not get it confused with a caring friend who would delicately and considerately point out your mistakes, a jealous friend will at any given moment hiss out sharp barbs.

A jealous friend will never be happy for you. NEVER! If you accomplish something or get one over on them, they will point out how undeserving you are of it. They are overtly unhappy about your success. Although it is normal to sometimes compare yourself to your peers, what isn’t is trying to knock them down when they’re up.

Jealous friends try to take what’s yours. They long for the things you have because they fail to see value in their own possessions. In their minds, if they had what you have, it would instantaneously make their lives better. This is false. A feeling of inadequacy often stems from an unresolved issue with self-esteem; taking what doesn’t belong to you is called stealing, it is a crime and it will hardly fulfil anyone’s deep-seated issues; as a matter of fact, it will only worsen one’s state of mind. The guilt of doing someone dirty will linger for years and years – only when you truly accept yourself and do the work to get better, will you steadfastly begin recovering.

A jealous friend will eventually betray you. They will hurt you knowingly and have a hard time apologising because it is so far out of their realm of consideration. They will stab you in the back and say that you shouldn’t have left it unprotected in the first place.


jealous friends. Image from

If you or anyone in your circle exhibits the above mentioned; do the work to be better. It’s important to consider yourself when thinking of jealousy and friendship because you may be unwittingly hurting or projecting toxic emotions outwardly to those you care about: on the other hand, if those around you tend to walk on eggshells or are somewhat reluctant in some situations then perhaps it’s time to change. All in all, the most crucial part on both sides is to voice your concerns clearly – miscommunication and passive aggression only fuel the fire.

Jealousy is a disease, if afflicted, get well soon.

Jealous friends can turn on you. Sometimes it is better to let go of your toxic friends. Why Do People Stay In Toxic Relationships?

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20 something-year-old woman, living and learning in Nairobi.