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Is It Wrong To Stay? My Thoughts On Unfaithful Relationships

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Black man holding an apology note image from https://sites.austincc.edu/commstudies/guide-to-selecting-a-course/o-couple-arguing-facebook/

How many of us have been in unfaithful relationships? If we’re being honest, those numbers are probably in the double or even triple digits. Cheating cases seem to be getting more casual by the day which gives rise to so many questions around the topic. The primary one still remains, is it wrong to stay if your partner cheats on you?

Infidelity Is A Murky Subject.

What I might consider cheating might not be cheating to someone else. For instance, does flirting count as cheating? Some say yes, some say no. A person may choose to stay with their partner despite them flirting with other people because they don’t consider this as cheating.

Additionally, people react differently to cheating. Some may choose to stay and work things out while others are quick to reach for the door. The viral video dubbed #hurtbae helped shed light on what both partners go through in unfaithful relationships.

You’re No Angel Either

Unfaithful relationships unearth a lot of issues – a lot of failures on both parts.  It’s easy to play the blame game and paint the unfaithful partner as the monster. However, it’s not always black and white. In most cases, both partners contributed to the infidelity whether by failing to communicate, intimacy issues and other common problems most relationships face.

Sometimes, it’s out of your control entirely. For instance, did you know that if you’re financially dependent on your partner you’re more likely to cheat on them? These are some of the factors that lead to people being unfaithful in relationships.

Love Is A Lot Of Work

Love and ego are like water and oil. They never mix. In the words of Beyoncé, “Love is an endless act of forgiveness.” Love calls for humility on both sides. In unfaithful relationships, the cheating spouse has to admit that they’re on the wrong and the other spouse has to ready to listen. Until you realize this, you’ll be going from one relationship to another hoping that things will be different.

However, nobody wants to be made a fool of and by no means do I suggest that you stay in a toxic relationship. Nor are you under any obligation to stay. If you’ve tried the available solutions and it doesn’t work, ending the relationship is still an option.

Black man holding an apology note image from https://sites.austincc.edu/commstudies/guide-to-selecting-a-course/o-couple-arguing-facebook/

Know Yourself

Your self-worth doesn’t diminish or increase based on whether you’ve been in unfaithful relationships. Sure, you may suffer humiliation which in turn, can affect one’s self-esteem. However, the scarring can be long-lasting whether you choose to stay or leave. The best solution is to remember that you’re yours first before you’re anyone else’s. Your well-being and happiness come first. Therefore, you should make your decision based on what you want regardless of what might be deemed right or wrong.

If you choose to stay, plan a way to fix what was wrong. Rebuilding the trust might take a while but it can happen. Some solutions available include counselling or working through your issues

On relationships, read 5 Reasons Why Women Cheat

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