The Singlehood Series: I Can’t Move On Because My Ex Keeps Coming Back To Harass Me


My ex and I dated for over 5 years before it ended abruptly. By abruptly, I mean I came home one day and all my things were packed in my suitcase and the man who only a few hours ago swore he loved me kicked me out of our apartment. If it wasn’t for my friend’s goodwill, I would have been homeless since most of my family members lived in the upcountry.

One year later I still don’t understand what happened that day. However, my breakup from my ex was like a blessing in disguise. He wasn’t the prince charming I thought I would end up with. In fact, he was the furthest thing from charming. My friends hated his guts and pushed me to break up with him. He was both verbally and emotionally abusive towards me. I experienced more abuse every time I tried to end the relationship. I became so accustomed to it that it was something I would anticipate then seek refuge at a friend’s place.

“Can I come over tonight? Justin came home drunk again.” I asked the day he packed my clothes.

I thought it was one of his usual drunken fits.

“Sure, babe. I’m coming to pick you up.” she replied.

One night turned to two nights before I heard anything from my ex. I started to grow worried and would check up on him occasionally but he didn’t reply to my text. After spending an entire month at my friend’s place, it was time to get my own. She helped me go house hunting and settle into my new home. By that time, my ex hadn’t returned any of my calls. The last time I saw or talked to him was the day he kicked me out.

“Maybe he moved on and you should too.” My friend suggested.

“I want to take my time.”

Indeed, I took my time. Months went by without going or a date or even giving anyone the chance. After the rollercoaster I had been on with my ex, I was a bit cautious about getting back on the dating scene. However, my life was going on perfectly. I had gotten a job promotion; my friendships were all flourishing. In fact, the friend who housed me during my lowest moment was getting married in a few months’ time.

“You better come ready to meet your Prince Charming.” She said when she sent the invite.

“Prince Charming doesn’t exist in my world.”

“Girl, Justin was a bad guy. I wasn’t your fault.”

“I know. But that relationship still haunts me. I didn’t get closure and I don’t know if I ever will.” I answered with tear-filled eyes.

After a few drinks, we parted ways and went back to our respective homes. I felt a bit envious of her. She was the one getting married first even though we were so sure I would get married and have children before her. Then, it finally hit me that her wedding could actually be a good place to meet someone.

I prepared my outfit and had it made a month prior to the wedding. It was a figure-hugging midnight blue dress with gold details. I suddenly felt a burst of hope and couldn’t wait for the day.

Finally, it was here. We all gathered at a lush garden in Karen and the ceremony was as beautiful as the bride. We laughed, danced, cried and bid farewell to our friend all in one day. As the evening party continued, I noticed a lurking eye that had been looking at me since morning. I was a bit intoxicated and feeling daring so I approached him.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he said before I could say anything.

“Hi… I notice you’ve been looking at me.” I replied a bit feisty.

“Yeah. Who wouldn’t? I was just waiting for you to decide if I worthy of your time.”

We chatted for hours before I had to leave for home. He offered to drop me off which I agreed. From that day, he’s dropped me home every night for three months. I found myself falling so madly in love with him, so fast. Justin hadn’t crossed my mind, not even once, until I saw an incoming call from him. Of course, I let it go unanswered several times then he opted to text me.

He went on a rant about how he made a mistake and he wants me back. Yeah, it was absurd regardless of whether I had met the perfect guy or not. After a frustrating night, I managed to block him on every platform. However, that only aggravated him.

“Excuse me, miss. There’s a man here to see you.” The security guard at my apartment alerted me.

I innocently thought my current boyfriend decided to pay me a surprise visit only to see my ex-boyfriend.

“How did you know where I live?” I asked startled.

“Can I come in?” he asked without answering my question.

“Are you crazy? No!”

“Why? Because of that new guy. I know I’m better than him.”

“Leave me alone, Justin,” I said as I locked up the gate and went back to my apartment.

According to the security guard, he stayed there for another hour and asked about my boyfriend. I felt so insecure in my house that I went to stay with him for a few weeks. He knew about an old abusive ex so he understood when I told him what was happening in my life. Luckily, he was more than accommodative.

It felt like my life had taken several steps back. Its like I was back to square one after all the progress I had made in those months away from him. I couldn’t go back to my apartment and my relationship wasn’t what it used to be since I had to unearth some skeletons from my past. Though my ex hasn’t contacted me yet, I still look over my shoulders.

More on The Singlehood Series

The Time Mr. Nice Guy Turned Into A Stalker

How I Drove My Boyfriend’s Pregnant Girlfriend To Deliver Their Baby Without Knowing

Single Lady In Nairobi: The Case Of The Ex

After 2 Years Of Raising My Daughter I Found Out I Wasn’t Her Father

The Stranger Turned Stalker Who Terrorized Me

He Shared My Nudes On Social Media After We Broke Up

Single Lady In Nairobi: A Dance With The Devil

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The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that people have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of