Parenting: Would You Consider Making Your Partner Sign A Baby Prenup?

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We’ve heard of prenuptial agreements, which couples sign to protect their assets. However, did you know that baby prenups exist?

Inspired by a prenuptial agreement, a baby prenup is also an agreement made prior to a baby’s birth. It doesn’t require legal guidance or monies. On the contrary, it is tailored by the parents of the unborn child, as a way to break down baby chores, communication and take care of the predictable elements that surround the birth of a baby.

A baby prenup captures parental duties and chores, but unlike a legal document, it leaves the freedom for both mother and father of the child to make adjustments. In essence, it is meant to help parents divide tasks and share responsibilities like who’s changing the diapers or who is waking up to cradle the baby back to sleep.

The goal is to affirm the well being of a child, lessen the occurrence of conflicts due to stress, a mother gets moments of rest and the initial adjustment following the baby’s arrival becomes a bit easier. Here’s a guide to surviving the first few months with a newborn baby.

Image from https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/first-words/

Aside from roles shared post-partum a baby prenup can also be used even after the baby leaves infancy to include childcare drop-offs and financial contributions.

After the concept was shared on social media many didn’t seem pleased. In fact, some of the strong reactions evoked by the topic revolved around culture, marriage, parenting and gender roles.

The problem though seems to reside on the fact that you get your partner to sign the agreement as many highlight in the responses.

Lest we forget in the literal sense;

 

The idea of baby prenups didn’t seem any different than an organizational board/duty roster shared among siblings. Those who saw the importance of a baby prenup shared a chain of positive responses and here are some;

 

 

It goes without saying that sharing is caring, but in order for a baby prenup to work, there needs to be a good flow of communication between partners. The setting should also allow open-mindedness and a sense of accountability with both parents gearing towards a common goal. That is, giving each other support (regardless of the document) to avoid burnout, strain, stress which could bring more hurdles in a relationship.

A happy family: Image from https://pinterest.com/pin/551128073144126006/?source_app=android

Nonetheless, just as a coin comes with two sides this reward cannot be without a punishment aspect.

If you’ve shared duties with siblings, you probably know that there are defaulters. More to this includes the disagreements on who’s supposed to do what, especially when unexpected issues arise. That said, how are the grey areas captured in a baby prenup and wouldn’t that bear conflicts between parents?

 

What happens when a parent breaches the agreement out of sheer negligence or makes petty excuses each time they do? What if they don’t meet their share of duties or do not follow through with their part? Apart from helping a couple lessen the occurrence of conflicts caused by misaligned expectations, wouldn’t a baby prenup also highlight faults within a couple in terms of accountability, broken promises causing even deeper conflicts? As you guessed by now this discussion also brought out some of these confusing aspects which were clearly highlighted in the responses.

 

That said, we remember that as humans, usually when we plan, we do so to avoid failure. Even though life doesn’t come with a textbook, some theories, like in pre-nuptials – which inspires a baby prenup – have proven to work. Nonetheless, this doesn’t refute the question, whether a baby prenup would work in an African home.

Considering the culture, social conditioning and the preconceived notions Africans have about gender roles, especially house chores, is a baby prenup a blessing in disguise or a ticking time bomb waiting to explode?

What are your thoughts?

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