They say nothing’s fair in love and war. Nevertheless, so does this saying apply in the game of dating. Raise your hand if you have curved someone just because they had long unkempt fingernails, or their name sounded funny or the weirdest I’ve had; because they came in a filthy cab.
Now before you think this is just for laughs, clearly there are more serious things that some men do which end up ruining their chances of a second date, leave alone a relationship. Check out these useful tips to help you get out of a dating rut.
Some of these might be very straightforward, but they are also subtle enough, to not realise you’re doing them when you’re in the moment. Needless to say, no one’s perfect and as it is, it’s hard to keep up with society and its expectations. Hence, without further ado, here are ways common ways guys ruin their chances during the first date
- Personal hygiene
Don’t we all have stories from dating that one guy who was both dirty and dorky? While dorky might be cute in its own right, dirty is not. I’m talking guys with long fingernails, overpowering colognes and the dreaded body odour. The problem with a guy having long fingernails is that not only do they look uncouth but they make one look shabby. When it comes to colognes, an overpowering one is as offensive as body odour.
After all, wouldn’t you find it really hard to hold a conversation, when you’re on the verge of catching a serious sinus headache, just because your date decided to pass through a sea of Eau de toilette?
Hence, for proper etiquette, always remember that less is more. Also, you can check out these etiquette rules for wearing perfume the proper way.
Have you been on a date where someone couldn’t stop talking about themselves and their accomplishments? While it’s good to sound confident and ambitious, being cocky communicates selfishness and that you are too preoccupied with yourself to notice that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Possible outcomes are that if your date won’t zonk out they will keep looking at the time until you guys can finally separate.
There’s nothing wrong with keeping the conversation going and even talking about embarrassing life moments that may be funny or not. However, it is good to avoid taking the conversation too deep as this could communicate insecurities and a clinginess that could be quite off-putting.
For instance; talking about financial issues, debts and how you gamble 22 hours in a day. Unless you own a betting company, keep your addictions to yourself.
Have you noticed that it is con-men who have a habit of sharing too much when you don’t even know the person in particular?
- Using your phone
Isn’t it annoying to sit with someone who cannot stop looking at their phone? This is why it’s important to know a few phone etiquette rules, especially, when it comes to using your phone at the company of people.
- Being pawsy
It’s called pawsy because it is uninvited. A date may have gone too well that you felt it was time to start initiating a bit of physical contact. If it is invited well and good. But if it’s the opposite whereby someone is trying to keep you at arm’s length, do not go touching their waist, or placing your arms around their shoulders. A common one is trying to touch their hands like actors do in the movies. Well, things on the ground are quite different and unwanted contact is as offensive as sexual harassment.
- Being a bed conversationalist
It’s not even hours after you guys parted ways and you are already asking the infamous “What are you wearing tonight?” Not unless your first date happened in a bedroom setting or you’re sure such remarks are entertained it is wise to postpone sexting and other forward messages until further notice. Is the hookup culture, making this generation unable to commit to long term relationships?
- Failing to plan
Speaking of things on the ground being different, have you been on a date where after ordering, your date said they were full? But before even the waiter could finish settling down the food, they’re already encroaching on your plate. That said, you do not have to spend an arm on your date if you feel it will set back your plans. You can get creative and make it a picnic. There are so many ideas for cheap dates yet they leave quite an impression, more than a commonplace dinner at a place where you can’t tell which fork goes where. Social etiquette: 10 fine dining rules you must know.
As for going dutch, if your date offers to pick up the tab, gracefully thank them and offer to do so the next time.
- Talking trash
Cursing is fine if it is something that grew on you like a habit. What is not, is making a complete 360 and becoming a black American character moments after you say hi. You know, like the guy who talks with a fake accent while cursing to a point you’re also tempted to ask the fawkyoumean.
In the same way, do not badmouth your exes regardless of how bad they were. Also coming off like you’re too friendly with your exes sounds more like you have unresolved issues than you are caring. Therefore, it is good to establish a clear boundary, especially if you’re actively looking to build something with your date. Likewise, proper manners can take you a long way. Therefore be courteous to the staff around you.
- Arriving late
Before you argue that ladies are more guilty of this than men, here’s why arriving late ruins chances of a man than it does for a woman. A woman might smooth the situation when she arrives all dolled up and claims an accident happened right where she was parking. However, for a man the late you are the more unreliable and untrustworthy you appear. Nonetheless, for proper etiquette, it is good for both parties to keep time or communicate in advance if one runs late as there’s no guarantee that charms and white lies will work every time.
So they said in love and war nothing is fair, now we see why.
Speaking of which, here are five dating myths that might be ruining your chances at happiness.