I couldn’t think of a better time to talk about finding love than in February, the month of love. Love is for all to share and experience, needless to say, that not all of us are lucky enough to find partners who understand and accept us as we are. Disabled people are top of the list of people who are perceived to be “undateable”.
Would you date a disabled person?
Yes? No? Not sure?
I wouldn’t blame you if you said no. Our entire lives we have associated disability with suffering and struggle. Personally, I grew up with a belief that disabled people were better off staying at home; healing their physical and psychological wounds. I felt like they had more urgent things to think about than loving and being loved. It is our ability to treat disabled people like they have no feelings that intrigues me.
We were never told about interabled couples or disabled couples who broke the mould. It wasn’t newsworthy and neither was it sexy. So, we saw love and relationships a certain way, the traditional way, and knew that to be the truth.
The few times we saw a beautiful woman love a man with cerebral palsy we gave the couple the side-eye. The entire picture couldn’t make sense, “how?” we wondered. How and why would such a fine woman be with a man whose speech is so indistinct and walks funny? Must be the money, or maybe to win public opinion. Nothing says you are an open thinker and loving soul than being with a disabled person.
Prior experiences aside, there are those that could not bring ourselves to see disabled people as more than just that. Disabled people will never be sexy or attractive. That is well and good, I understand preferences and types all too well.
The bigger question here is, are disabled people capable of finding love? Should they even trust themselves to pursue it? I say a big Fat yes! From my own experiences as a disabled young man, I can tell you with confidence that true affection easily supersedes physical attributes. We all know beautiful people who are rude and have terrible personalities. We also know of disabled people who are warm, inviting and kind. Who would you rather be with?
Social pressures and stereotypes will want you to choose a beautiful person. That is all you know, and it would be too much work to do anything different. But what if? What if we had a local programme that portrayed an interabled couple, thriving in love and doing all the things that lovers do. What if families stopped rejecting boyfriends and girlfriends just because they were on a wheelchair. What if the world didn’t make it so hard for us?
It doesn’t really matter because I encourage my peers to go out and live full lives. Like who you want and do so with confidence.
Would a disabled person want to date you?
Yes, No, Not sure?