The Singlehood Series: When The Married Man In Class Asks You To Be His Girlfriend

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My friends and I are seated in a classroom on the top floor of the campus building when she starts to narrate a story for us. She started by saying how she’s been holding it in all along because some stories are better off when you keep them to yourself rather than sharing with anyone because it’s very easy to be misinterpreted.

A few months back, my friend was in a class group with a group of guys. She happened to be the only girl, but for her, that was normal because she naturally had more guy friends than girls. Group work meant that they would be spending a lot of time together especially because it was a practical unit.

So they would spend the entire day together and even some parts of the evening. The group was privileged enough to have a few members who were older and driving so it was easy to get to different locations. My friend didn’t have the car so she was always riding with the group members.

Slowly by slowly, she started to notice that one of the guys in the group was actually flirting with her. Here’s how it happened. She was jokingly complaining to them about how she had spent a lot of airtime making calls to secure interviews when the guy immediately sent her 1000 bob credit. This might have been okay for anyone else but she wasn’t one to accept free gifts so she sent it back. All along, this guy had asked her if he could see her without the rest of the group but then she kept turning him down. The thing is, she thought he wanted to tell her something about their career. But now after this incident, she started to realise that he had been flirting all along.

One evening, after their group work, he offered to drop her home. On the way home he asked if she was hungry and offered to buy her food. But it was the way he asked. He asked if he could take her out. So she turned him down.

One day my friend was late to the group work, and so she ran into the room to find this guy talking about his wife. She was shocked. She had no idea that he was married, and this is when it occurred to her that he had been wearing a ring all along. The thing is, it wasn’t possible to change the conversation, because the other group mates picked up on the story and ran along with it. So she sat there awkwardly listening to a story about this guy and his wife.

The group eventually submitted their work to the lecturer, and while it seemed that this was going to be the end of his advances, it was only just the beginning. As soon as they parted ways and everyone had left the WhatsApp group he started calling her endlessly. He claimed that he had a huge crush on her and wanted to meet her. She wondered if it was the right time to bring up the fact that she knew he was married, but then again she decided that it didn’t matter whether or not he was married. She wasn’t interested.

My friend was just about to block this guy, but she decided to stick around and wait to hear what he had to say when she mentioned that she knew he was married. By this time his profile picture was his family, and apparently he even had kids. The audacity!

He called her on one random evening and this is when she decided that she wanted to put an end to things.

“I know that you have a family, and I’m not willing to get in between your relationship. But even if it weren’t for that, I’m not interested in you in that way.”

“Is that what your problem has been all along? Yes, I have a wife and I’m not scared to admit it. I have a wife, but I don’t have a girlfriend. I want you to be my girlfriend.”

My friend actually had no words. This was the point she decided to block him and forget about him altogether, until a few months later when she got a text from a different number.

“I miss you. I’m sorry if I scared you. I promise if you accept my offer you’ll be happy.”

She blocked this number as well, knowing that it wouldn’t be too long before he found another way to communicate with her, despite her obvious resistance.

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The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that people have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of