When Ed Sheeran said that The club isn’t the best place to find a lover he really had a point, and John had to find out the hard way. Maybe that’s why they say experience is the best teacher, and maybe after this incident, he would have learnt.
It was Friday evening. John was hanging out with his boys in his bedsitter while playing Play Station 4, which they had rented for the night. They were extremely hungry, so they decided to make some supper. As fate would have it, John received money on his phone, and they decided that they weren’t going to eat the regular bachelor food. It wasn’t going to be instant noodles this time. He felt rich. They decided to shock their bodies with some tasty fish. Later on, they would be meeting up with the rest of the squad, which comprised of richer guys. They had organized a party at a club.
Initially, they were pretending to be disinterested in this plan but as soon as they heard that there were free drinks at the party they quickly agreed. All they had to do was show up, and there would be drinks and girls. They couldn’t turn down that offer. They bought the fish and devoured it. They decided to sit around for a while as they waited because again you don’t show up to the club too early.
John and his friends dressed up and then made their way to the club. If you saw them, you would think they were rich classy men. They found that their other guy friends had booked two tables. There were very beautiful ladies, and this excited them. The ratio was balanced, one man per woman. In their heads, they had already done the calculations. Suddenly they were experts at maths.
After a few drinks, the excitement and courage had kicked in. John decided to shoot his shot with some lady that he had been eyeing. She had dreads, was neither too tall nor too short, and was wearing glasses. She was dressed in denim and booty shorts. He walked up to her and tried to start a conversation, and he was successful. Maybe she had even been eyeing him as well. She was extremely receptive.
John and this girl then moved to the dance floor as they got to know each other, in the middle of the loud packed club. The owner of the party had blacked out before even they got to the cake cutting. They were now ready to go back home, and the girl then asked John if he knew anyone who rents out houses because she stayed far away and she didn’t think she would make it seeing as she was very drunk. The question he should have been asking himself is which landlord would be awake at that time to rent his /her house for the night. But perhaps it was the alcohol that got in the way. John was quick to volunteer his house and said that he would be fine if she crushed for the night. They decided to take an Uber back to his house.
As soon as they got there she asked if she could take a shower. As she was showering John continued to play the hired Play Station by himself. Deep down he was excited because he thought that things were about to go down, and they did eventually. Just not in the way he had planned it.
Once she was done, she joined him and asked him to turn off the lights. He couldn’t believe his good luck. One thing led to another, and now as he was lowering her pants, he started to feel something unusual. The lady apparently had both female and male genitals. John was drunk, but as soon as he felt it, he became sober. He was so shocked to the point that he farted.
He, however, felt guilty. He couldn’t show her his emotions openly, so as much as he tried to hide it she must have noticed. John dressed up without another word and left to go and wake his neighbour up and ask if he could sleep there. He locked his house from the outside and told her that he would talk to her the following morning once they were both sober.
This story is based on a story we found on Twitter