The Singlehood Series: She Had Aspirations Of Becoming A High Society Lady After A Casual Hookup But It Ended In Premium Tears

couple in the bar. Image from

Ever met a guy and your chemistry is so good that you start imagining yourself as the Mrs. Well this story is a cautionary tale about not getting your hopes up after a casual hook up. This story first appeared on this blog as the story  Have You Met The Muthaiga Map Guy?

This is a true story from a friend. So if you have met the Map guy from Muthaiga, stand up and be counted. Every time I remember this story, I laugh my heart out…. When I finish laughing, I tell women to always have a backup plan. A cab guy on speed dial, cab fare, friends with cars.

So a friend goes to the club on a weekday. She meets a good looking guy. The guy looks cultured and very well behaved. He approaches her, he is charming and he buys her drinks. It’s a Thursday, he is hunting. She is looking for a weekend plan obviously. This Muthaiga man is charming. He convinces her to spend the night at his place. She plays hard to get with questions like “I have to be at work tomorrow. Will you drop me at my house?” “What will I wear?” Muthaiga man assures her that he will drop her to work and she will get a T-shirt to wear for dress down Friday.

I don’t know what happens to women when they hear ‘I will drop you!’ Is that transportation orgasm or what? How can it turn a woman so on that she leaves her logic at the club when she hears that she will be dropped? Why don’t women have reliable cab guys for that? Trusting a stranger to ‘drop’ you, kamaaan!

So my friend leaves the club with the Muthaiga guy. They get to his place. Great place. She starts seeing herself in that house. She will decorate the chairs. She is entertaining guests in this house. She hosts high tea for the other Muthaiga housewives. Then she has to perform ‘hookup’ duties, so she stops dreaming and gets to work. She sleeps a happy woman because she feels she has bagged the man. The Powerball lottery.

Morning comes. She has to go to work. She wakes him up to ‘drop’ her to work. The chap is asleep. No sign of leaving the bed. She showers and dresses up for work. She is now at a point where she is begging him to wake up and drop her. The chap, half-asleep reaches to his side drawer and reaches for a paper. It’s a photocopied map that he hands to my friend. There are few public transport vehicles in Muthaiga, and this guy made a map that showed the nearest public transport vehicles stops from his house. The map was so good; it started with ‘You are here!’

That map shattered my friend’s dream of moving to Muthaiga. Of being dropped to work. Of moving social classes. It destroyed her. It made her feel worthless. She keeps it in her house to remind her of what not to trust. She now has a reliable cab guy on speed dial. She gets herself home after a night out. She has set goals and dreams around that map. She has made resolutions around the map. The map has changed her life…. For the better.

So, have you met a smooth talker like the Muthaiga map guy who ends up playing you like a clown?

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The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that people have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of