Getting married is usually one of the happiest moments in life but it can soon turn sour if you have an annoying mother in law. By the time you get married to your partner, you’ve probably met and interacted with your in-laws. Therefore, you know if you’ll be dealing with a good or bad mother in law. However, it all becomes real once you say ‘I do’ and you’re tied to your significant other for life. If you’re struggling to cope with an annoying mother in law, here are some tips that make it easier.
- Don’t Nag Your Partner About Her
It’s hard for your partner to be neutral in that kind of situation and complaining only makes it worse. If you badmouth their mother, it might put a strain on your relationship. Therefore, you should try to resolve your issue with your mother in law alone. This will definitely take time but it will establish a personal relationship between the both of you.
- Avoid Her
Sometimes, silence is the best medicine. If all your interactions end in fights, leave her alone. Whenever she visits, leave the house and go have fun. This will be helpful to your general wellbeing and eventually, your mother in law will get the point. Additionally, it may prompt her to be nicer to you if you don’t instigate an argument every time.
- Understand Her Feelings
The first step to getting along with your mother in law is realizing why she’s hostile towards you. Most times, they lash out because they feel like they’ve lost their child. Your happiness could be their grief causing them to have mixed feelings about you. Instead of returning their hostility, try to practice empathy with her.
- Don’t Have Unrealistic Expectations
It’s important to realize that your mother in law isn’t just any another mother. Don’t expect her to welcome you with open arms as this may lead to disappointment and hostility. Instead, try to warm up to her. Since she’s probably the other most important person in your partner’s life, you’ll need to build a relationship with her.
- Be Assertive
As much as you should be nice to your mother in law, you should also stand your ground. Being too nice allows her to cross boundaries which may lead to bigger problems. If she does something you don’t agree with, don’t be afraid to call her out. You don’t always have to be nice to people who aren’t nice to you.
- Seek Outside Help
If all else fails, have a neutral party intervene in the situation. You can seek professional help from a counsellor or a mediator. Don’t be embarrassed to talk about your problems with your mother in law since it happens more often than you think. While in counselling, both of you should keep an open mind and should be willing to have a better relationship.
- Ask Her For Advice
Her insecurities could be coming from feeling left out. Therefore, to build a better relationship with your mother in law, try to ask for her advice. It could be something as simple as how to prepare your partner’s favourite meal or how to get rid of a stain. This shows her importance in your life and will help her warm up to you.