Mum Shaming: 7 Things You Shouldn’t Say To A Mother

They say the hardest job is being a mother. Other than raising a child, there’s a constant worry of whether they’re doing a good job. To add to that, they have to deal with other people’s opinions about their parenting skills. Mum shaming happens to mothers – new or old – from the moment they become pregnant. While some comments can be simply out of curiosity or ignorance, they can rub a mother the wrong way. Here are some things you shouldn’t say to a mother.

1. You Look Tired

Having multiple sleepless nights can take a toll on your physical appearance so mothers, especially new ones, are very aware of how tired they look. If you pay them a visit or meet up, refrain from commenting about their appearance. Instead, you can offer to help watch the children so she can have some time to pay attention to her looks. 6 Tips To Get Your Baby To Sleep Better

2. You’ve Gained So Much Weight

This is never a good thing to say to anyone, let alone a mother who has just had a baby. Some people are able to shed the baby weight quickly while others struggle. It’s nature. However, it’s not your place to point out the weight gain. You should also avoid commenting about a woman’s baby bump as it’s not only rude but also it may scare her.

3. Why Is Your Baby Crying?

If the mother knew why her child was crying, she would stop it. However, she’s just as stressed out by the sound of the distressed baby as you are, and asking why they’re crying doesn’t help the situation. This only makes them feel worse that they can’t comfort their baby. If you have more experience in motherhood, you can suggest some things they can do to reduce the crying.

4. What Are You Doing Nowadays?

People have a notion that once someone gives birth, they take a break from working. While they might not be reporting to work every day, being a mother is a full-time job. From changing diapers to breastfeeding then taking care of the rest of the family, the right question you should ask a mother is whether she needs a holiday.

5. It Only Gets Worse

Can you imagine if someone told you that your life will only get worse? It feels bad, doesn’t it? This can be a really demoralizing thing to say to a mother whose only hope is that it gets better with time. Additionally, it can rob them of the joy of parenthood. Avoid saying negative things about parenting to a mother since different people have different experiences. A Guide To Surviving The First Few Months With A Newborn Baby

6. How Was Childbirth?

We’ve all heard the wild stories about childbirth and might be curious to ask a mother if they went through any of it. However, nobody wants to relive their childbirth experience as most times it’s not rosy. You can ask if she had a natural birth or a C-section but don’t go into details about their experience lest you trigger a postpartum PTSD. Things You Should Know About Postpartum Depression

7. Do You Want More?

While there’s nothing wrong in wanting to know whether someone wants more kids, this is a personal question that simply doesn’t involve you. If she plans on expanding her family, she’ll have a talk with her partner. At the moment, she’s adjusting to her life as a mother.

Check out Types Of Mum Shaming And How To Deal With Them and Parenting: Breastfeeding Hacks For New Mums