The Singlehood Series: My Crush Took Me On A Date To A Pyramid Scheme Meeting

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Someone once said that crushes should remain just that, crushes. Any attempts to move past will leave you disappointed, and, well, crushed. Because essentially, can we really define a crush without the words infatuation, nervousness, and mind games? Probably not. I thought that this was nonsense until I experienced it first hand.

His name was Noah, and I remember being attracted to his name the first time I heard it. It was a name that exuded masculinity, and that was definitely my type of guy. I met this guy at university. We shared a few classes here and there. I knew I had a crush on him because of the way I behaved around him. My words escaped me every time, and I found myself stuttering. I was suddenly shy and I said some things that weren’t true just to impress me.

Noah texted me a month after we had graduated. He was a sweet soul. Each morning I would wake up to a good morning beautiful text, and at the time, that one text would complete my morning and make my heart full.

Noah didn’t waste much time. A week later, he called me and asked me out on a date. I almost screamed in excitement. As usual, I couldn’t find the right words.

“Thank…thank you, I’ll be there,” I told him.

As soon as I hang up I called my best friend to let her know.

“He asked me out,” I said.

“You might as well be married. That guy is definitely into you,” she said.

The night before the date, I couldn’t sleep. I had pictured my outfit and hairstyle in my head. Noah complimented my open hair before then, and so I knew exactly which hairstyle would impress him. I also planned on wearing a dress and pair of shoes I had never worn before. Everything had to be brand new.

Noah drove into my compound at exactly 2 pm, just as we had agreed. This made me even more attracted to him.

“Hi babe,” he said.

“Hey, what’s up?” I answered, trying to sound cool.

We drove for about thirty minutes. He refused to tell me where exactly we were headed. His car was super clean. He wore a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, and you could tell that he was a neat person.

We drove into the basement of a building in the CBD. That building had a fancy Chinese restaurant and so I knew that I was in for a treat.

But when we got into the lift, Noah pressed on the fourth floor, and this wasn’t where that particular restaurant was. But all wasn’t lost, at least not yet. I still had hope.

We walked out of the lift and I realised that this floor was crowded. Noah led me into a room filled with people and pulled out two chairs. I watched him in amazement wondering what was happening. Were we stopping here before the date, or what was happening?

Turns out, that was the date. We sat there for hours, being told how we needed to join, and the more people we recruited the more money we would make. I was bored. I had dismissed them from the time I sat down. But that wasn’t the bigger issue. What was I doing on a ‘date’ at a pyramid scheme meeting?

“So, what do you think?” Noah asked once the session was over.

Think? What did I think? I think we’re supposed to be on a date. I’m supposed to have ordered my food by now, and I think my drinks should be arriving. I think we should be in a fancy restaurant with a nice ambience and nice background music, getting to know one another. That’s what happens on a date, right?

These were the thoughts that ran through my mind, but I didn’t have the courage to say it out loud.

“It was great. I’ll think about it. For now, I need to rush, something has come up,” I told him.

“What’s up? Can I drop you? How urgent is it? I was hoping to introduce you to the speakers…” He said.

I politely declined his offer. Where was I headed? To the Chinese restaurant downstairs. I was extremely hungry, and my irritation was quickly catching up with me.

I ordered more food than I needed, and Noah walked into the restaurant just as I was winding up.

“Oh, so this was the emergency?” He asked.

I didn’t bother explaining myself. I just glanced at him as he sat comfortably in the booth.

When my bill came, I insisted that I was paying it. Noah tried to ask to pay, but I completely refused. I was annoyed, and I wasn’t trying to hide it in the least bit.

I settled back into my apartment that evening. Noah called to apologise, but I wasn’t hearing any of it. We didn’t talk again after that. That was the end of our relationship, and I was crushed.

Check out

He Asked Me Out On A Brunch Date But Took Me To Church Instead

My Date Offered Me Money So I Could Leave

When He Shows Up To Your First Date With A Friend

When The Rich Guy Takes You To A Kibanda On The First Date

When He Asks You Out On A Date And Lets You Pay The Full Bill

He Asked Me Out On A Date But We Ended Up At A Business Forum

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The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that people have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of