Friendship is a beautiful thing. More often than not, we prioritise romance, but finding a beautiful friend that cares for you and cherishes you? That’s absolutely priceless!
Even so, we sometimes find ourselves in situations where our ‘friends’ act or do things in ways that we don’t agree with. Everyone has a level of toxicity, and it’s important to recognise this. However, there are some toxic traits that are intolerable.
Here are 8 friendship red flags to look out for.
1. Gossiping about other people
If you have experienced a friend who is always discussing other people then you probably know what I’m talking about. These people will be talking about someone in a negative light, and the next minute you see them laughing together, or commenting ‘Step on us, we are your staircase’ on the person’s Instagram post. Ran away, because if they’re talking about other people, chances are they’re talking about you.
2. Subtle disrespect
You know those small things that are said in the middle of conversations as jokes, but if you think deeply they are actually insulting? Pay attention to them. Those friends are not actually joking. It’s how they feel about you. Learn to surround yourself with people that treat you in a gentle manner. You deserve that.
3. They’re not happy about your successes
Typically, your friend is supposed to celebrate your achievements with you. But what happens when they don’t? It’s a red flag. Imagine going to a friend with so much excitement in you and their response doesn’t match your excitement? It shows a form of jealousy. Maybe they wanted to achieve it before you, or they feel ‘overtaken.’ This is definitely a toxic trait. You should be happy to see your friends happy.
4. ‘Good vibes only’ friends
It’s true that we should seek positive vibes as much as we can, but life happens and it can’t be this way throughout. Life comes with ups and downs, and your friend should be there for both your ups and your downs. If you have a friend that only shows up to the party but never the funeral, that’s a red flag.
5. Friends that don’t admit their flaws
As I said, we all have toxic traits. It takes a special kind of grace to admit that in yourself. If someone truly loves you, they will correct you and try to help you to improve on a certain trait. Friends who aren’t willing to admit their flaws are toxic. Studies show that people who don’t like to admit their mistakes hate to feel and look weak, and have deep-seated insecurities. If your friend acts this way, then this is definitely a red flag.
6. Friends who are jealous of your other friends
Friends who are jealous of your other friends are toxic. It’s simple. You don’t own anyone in this world, you just get to experience them. Therefore, trying to dictate to them who they can and can’t hang out with is wrong.
Do you endure guilt when you meet with other people rather than with that specific friend? Does this person badmouth your significant other and your other buddies? Are you being persuaded not to keep them in your life? Then we might be dealing with a case of a jealous fellow who guilt-trips you into isolating yourself from other relationships.
7. Friends who don’t make time for you
There are friends who are always busy with their other friends or doing other things but can never make time for you. In such friendships, you realise early enough that you are not a priority. This is a red flag. Such a friend only seems to “like you” or want to spend time with you when he or she needs something from you. You can either call them out on it or choose to walk away. The choice is yours.
8. You’re walking on eggshells around them
If you are around someone but you have to second-guess every action and word, then this is a red flag. Why? You should be unapologetically you, and especially around your friends. If it is almost impossible to avoid that intolerant friend making a scene out of any mundane situation, there goes your red flag. Continuous tiptoeing leads to constant tension and the inability to let your guard down.