The Singlehood Series: He Broke Up With Me After Finding Out I Was Bisexual

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Being bisexual has been an issue I never thought I had to deal with in my dating life. Ever since I came out, people have assumed the worst about me. Some think I’m a sex addict while others think I’m simply confused. However, the worst assumption is that I want to have threesomes all the time. If I had a penny for every time someone has asked me if I could bring my girlfriend, I’d buy a mansion in Runda. But here I am, just blocking weird men after the first date.

I decided I wouldn’t let people know about my sexual orientation until I got to know them in hopes that I’d have better luck in the love department. So after, I met a guy who was exactly my type. He was physically attractive but it was his brilliant personality that drew me to him. Our conversation flowed easily since we had a lot in common. It felt like I had known him for years yet we had only known each other for a few weeks.

“What are doing?” he asked as soon as I answered the phone.

“Just working.”

“Let’s meet for lunch. I’m around your office.”

“Okay. We meet at Sarit Center.”


This had been a common thing. He was random and I liked it. There was never a dull moment when I was with him. Even when I felt sluggish at work, I could always count on him to cheer me up. His sense of humour was out of this world and every time we talked, I’d smile the whole day. So I couldn’t turn down his lunch offer no matter how busy I was.

By the time I got to Sarit Center, he had already settled at Artcaffe. I walked in and spotted him seated at a corner table looking at his phone. As soon as he saw me, he put his phone down and perked up.

“My pretty woman.” He shouted drawing the attention of other people in the café.

We embraced then sat down almost perfectly synchronized. I laughed at how in sync we were.

“What are you having?”

“Masala fries and a burrito.”

“Let me guess, passion smoothie?”

“I can’t help it. I’m a creature of habit.”

“You need to be more spontaneous.”

I’ll admit that I was a bit boring. I would stay in my comfort zone and be happy. Maybe that was why I liked James so much. He challenged me to leave my comfort zone. I had actually done a lot of new things since I met him.

“Honey, you don’t know how spontaneous I can get.”

“Really? Okay. Surprise me.”

“Wait and see.”

I thought the one thing that is interesting about me was that I was bisexual. I’m sure he wouldn’t have guessed that about me. So, I planned on revealing this well-kept secret to him. But instead of telling him, I came up with the genius idea of organizing a threesome.

At the time, it seemed like the perfect idea. After all, what man didn’t want to sleep with two women at the same time. It was the one thing every guy I dated asked for as soon as they found out I was bisexual. Though James was different, there were some things all men have in common. So, I figured he’d be happy to bed two women.

Two black girls. Image from

One of my close friends and I had dated for more than a year and we remained close after we broke up. She had hinted that she was interested in me so I decided to ask her if she wanted to have a threesome.

“Yes, of course.”


“I’m surprised you want a threesome. This guy must be a smooth operator.”

“Actually, he doesn’t know I’m bisexual or that we’re having a threesome.”

“What? This is going to be epic.”

“I know. I’ll call you on Friday.”

“Okay, babe.” She answered and hang up.

I met with James on Friday as usual. We went for drinks and went back home around 9 pm. He was still oblivious of what was about to happen until we got to the house and found my friend, Barbie, half-naked with a bottle of wine.

“Hi, Barbie.” He said casually.

“Hi, hun.” She answered while standing up.

“What are you doing here?”

She didn’t answer.

“Well, this is your surprise,” I said.

“What? Why would I…?” he hesitated then looked at me.

“I want to have a threesome with you.”

It was as if I had insulted him or his family. He looked at me with disgust, horror, and slight embarrassment.

“I need to go.” He said going towards the door.

The following morning, I woke up to a text message from James reading:

“Yesterday was weird. I think I drank too much. Do you want to have breakfast?”

I agreed and went to his house. There, I found him preparing a sumptuous breakfast.

“What was all that about last night?”

“I have something to tell you. Promise you won’t overreact.”

“Promise.” He answered.

“Well, I’m bisexual.”

“Oh? Like you hook up with girls from time to time?”

“No, like I date girls and I’m into them.”

“What? And you didn’t tell me this whole time?”

“I didn’t know how you’d react. Most guys who found out I was bisexual ended up asking me for a threesome and I thought you’d do the same.”

“I have no problem with your sexuality but the fact that you could hide something like this for months makes me wonder what else you’re hiding or you could hide.”

It turns out James was lying. He had a problem with me being bisexual. He talked badly about me to his friends calling me a loose woman and that I can’t decide whether I like men or women. Honestly, he was the last person I expected to judge me like that. It seems like his open-mindedness had limits. I’m just glad I didn’t wait too long to tell him I was bisexual or I’d experience another level of character development.

More stories in The Singlehood Series:

My Crush Had A Secret Relationship He Hid From Me

He Used Her To Cover Up The Fact That He Was Gay

I Got My Heart Broken By A Girl

When You Find Out That Your Talking Stage Has A Better Looking Best Friend

She Showed Up To Our First Date With Her Ex-Boyfriend

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The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating in Kenya and experiences that people have gone through. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the contributors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of